the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
