If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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