I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
