from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
i've created a new STD.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
