i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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