dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
