Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize