i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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