What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
i believe in u and ur pee
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
