Cold hands, warm shart.
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
