Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize