20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
