If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
