you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My vagina is officially offended.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
