No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
