Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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