If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
