Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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