the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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