Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
