no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
