Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
