Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
