girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize