Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
