either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
