Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
