The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
and you said cock pushups were impossible
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
