No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
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