I just pynch a tree in the face
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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