...so i touched it.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
