so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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