In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
