If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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