i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
