I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
