maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
