Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
