Sry I called you an 8
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
