I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
