A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
