the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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