apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
