i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
