He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Randomize
