there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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