What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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