hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
