I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
