I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
