My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
where am i from again
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
