I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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