all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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