I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I queefed so loud it echoed.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
