Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
