Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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