but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
