He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
