scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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