He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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