Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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