I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
do nipples grow back?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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