Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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