Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
