remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
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