I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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