We're like a lot better than the average bears
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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