Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
