How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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