I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize