i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Houston, we have a squirter
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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