I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
