I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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