Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I don't think brook has ever known best
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize