; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
