Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize