I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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