I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Hippo gnu deer
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
