i would punch a child for taco bell
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
