I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
